But For The Grace
by theforgetfulalchemist
Summary: A year after the war, by the grace of God or luck, Katniss and Peeta are still alive and well, left to pick up the pieces. The years to come bring births, deaths, marriage, rebuilding, new government and even a whisper of a return of the Hunger Games using native Capitol children. But through adversity and uncertainty, by the grace of something they will always have each other.
1. Prim's Birthday

Chapter One: Katniss

I couldn't believe it had been a year.

A year since quarter quells and mocking jays and saying good bye to so many.

That crisp winter morning, I made my way through the half-rebuilt Seam area to a small lawn.

It had been my home, my family's home in victor's village. It was not quite reformed. It didn't matter. I had moved to the Capitol a few months ago.

I hadn't wanted to, at first. After all, the Seam was my home. But President Paylor convinced us we were needed.

Us.

Peeta. Me.

I smile, thinking of him waiting back home, probably with fresh bread baking.

And the bed meticulously made.

I blush, thinking of it. We had been sharing a bed for a year, but the thought still made my cheeks go hot.

I am brought back to the present when I see what I had come for. A small stone stele jutting out, the center piece of the villa garden.

I kneal by it and reading the inscription made me flush with grief all over again.

PRIMROSE EVERDEEN

"Hi, little buck" I rasp. "Happy birthday, Prim."

She would have been fourteen today. If not for Coin, if not for Snow...if not for a lot of things.

"Finny's growing like a weed" I told the marker "He's began walking a little while ago, the little demon. He gets everywhere now. Drives Annie mad."

I try not to think about how Finnick would be there to see his son grow up, if not for the war, if not for the capitol, if not for god damned Snow and every other god damned son of a bitch…

I take a deep breath, letting the injustice wash over me. Breath again.

I was alright.

"Easy, sweetheart" a familiar voice chuckled behind me.

I turned and saw a scruffy man with a bottle that looked suspiciously like scotch.

I smiled slightly. "Haymitch!"

I hadn't seen him in months. When his victor's village home was rebuilt he moved out of me and Peeta's apartment and moved back to 12.

He sat beside me and handed me the bottle. Over the past year, I had drank with Haymitch a few times and had gotten used to the taste, though I didn't drink often.

Today was an exception.

I take the bottle gratefully and take a swig.

"Ah!" I wipe my mouth "Thanks"

Haymitch winks. "I'll make a lush of you yet, sweetheart."

I snort. "Don't bet on it, old man"

We both grin.

"So where's Peeta?"

"Back at the Capitol" I loved Peeta with all my heart (as much as my messed up heart allowed) but this was something I had to do by myself.

"I just...came to say hi to Prim" I didn't add that Prim hated to be lonely.

So did I when it came to it, when it really came down to it.

I thought again of Peeta waiting for me, making my favorite rolls, probably watching the clock, the hopeless sap.

I grinned at the thought.

"Today would been her birthday, wouldn't it, Katniss?" Haymitch said suddenly.

I flinched. "Yes" I muttered.

Haymitch shakes his head and hands me the bottle again.

"She was lucky, you know" he said.

My head snaps up "What the hell's lucky about being blown up?" I growl

"Easy, easy, sweetheart" he said again.

"Don't call me sweetheart" I cried, getting worked up.

"I didn't mean that." he explains. "I mean having you. She'd have died in the 74th if not for you, Katniss. Make no mistake, she'd have been dead the first day. You gave her a longer life. Not much longer, and nobody's more sorry about that than me, but it's true."

I want to argue, but can't.

The train ride home was uneventful. When the sun was setting Peeta's favorite orange, my heart ached, missing him. Or maybe just missing a reminder that not everything went up in smoke during the war like my sister did.

I enter our little apartment and kick off my boots. Technically, it's my apartment, but Peeta moved in a few months after the war.

Paynor had given it to me. I lived there alone for a while, them Peeta asked to live with me while he looked for a place for himself.

And he just...never left.

We found there was no need for him to.

As predicted, he was wearing his apron, covered in flour, as he came down the hall to greet me.

His eye light up.

"Hi, Katniss! Welcome home"

I give him a small smile. "Hi, Peeta."

I kiss him, getting flour on my coat, and not caring.

He was getting mud and dust from twelve on his front and not caring.

Suddenly I feel his tongue and I moan involuntarily.

I pull away, reluctantly.

"Maybe we can continue this after dinner" I suggest.

He rolls his eyes. "Maybe someday I'll get you to think about sex with me more than my cooking" he remarks dryly.

"Like that'll happen." I joke and he laughs.

He is quite throughout dinner and I tell him so, through a mouthful of his homemade bread (even after a year of not starving, I still eat like I am).

He gives me a lopsided grin.

"I've just been...thinking" he says vaguely.

I raise an eyebrow. "Because baking all day leaves you time to think about the meaning of life?"

"Never let it be said I'm the only one with a sense of humor in this relationship"

"Ha"

"No..." Peeta said finally. "I was thinking..."

he took my hand and gazed at me seriously.

"I was thinking...we've been together for a while..."

"We have..."

"And if anyone knows to seize the moment because you don't know what will happen, it's us..."

"True"

"And I know we're still young but..."

Finally, too slowly, I catch on.

My heart almost beats out of my chest.

no...yes…

He drew an old wedding ring from his pocket. I had sen it on his mother.

He slipped it on my finger. I didn't resist

I didn't know if I wanted to resist.

"Katniss Everdeen….will you marry me?"

a/n: Somehow it has taken me this long to get into the Hunger Games. I really like the idea of Panem-and Katniss and Peeta-rebuilding in the fifteen years or so between the end of the war and the epilogue. I know it's already a popular idea and has been done before but I couldn't resist taking a crack at it! Feel free to review if you liked it/want to! Thank you for reading!


	2. Yes

Chapter Two: Katniss

"Katniss?"

Annie calls me for at least the third time. I look up into her concerned face and smile wanly.

"Katniss" she says again, frowning slightly "What's the matter?" she shifts baby Finnick in her arms, gurgling and laughing, trying to bounce out of his mother's arms.

"You seem...so...distracted..."

Her words melt into silence as my hand shifted, showing the ring.

It was beautiful, it really was; tempered silver twisted together and topped with a flower. A primrose, in fact.

Maybe that's one reason I don't take it off.

"No!" Annie breaths, snatching my hand and inspecting the thing. "Peeta proposed? You're engaged?"

I wince.

"Not...quite."

"You didn't say yes?" she asks, incredulous.

"I didn't say no"

"Katniss!" she said sternly.

"What?" I said defensively.

"Well, you love him."

"Of course."

"Well!" Annie said like the matter was settled "What are you waiting for?"

"It's not as simple as that" I hiss. I look at Finnick and his pale gold hair is so close to Peeta's, he almost looks like what our son could turn out to be. It made my throat constrict.

"What's not so simple?" Annie asks soothingly.

"Marriage means kids" I argue "You know the rebels were talking about reinstating the games, with Capitol children. You know how easily the games could come back. I promised myself my children would never, ever, be put in the reaping. If there's any possibility..."

Annie shakes her head "It's not possible" she says "You wold never allow it. As long as you live, as long as you care, there will never be another Games. Ever."

"How can you be sure?" I say, desperately "I couldn't stop our first Government; how can you be sure I can stop this one, if it goes bad?"

"Because you were a volunteer" she said fiercely "The first in 12 history. You would have rather died than let your loved one become a pawn of the Capitol. That's how I know, Katniss."

I don't say anything. I juts look at the ring.

It IS a very beautiful flower.

PEETA

If Katniss was gone for much longer, I would be tempted to call Haymitch over for some drinks.

Last night, I had finally screwed up the courage to ask her. I had even found my mother's ring in the rubble of 12 (not an easy feat) and spent weeks cleaning it to a shine.

It looked so beautiful on her my heart nearly stopped.

Then she said she had to think.

Well, I console myself, she didn't say no.

Before I could make good on my internal threat to become an alcoholic, there is a knock on the door.

"Coming" I blush, trying to wipe away the flour on my hands and arms (I bake when I'm stressed. Sue me.)

I open the door to a middle aged man with mild eye makeup and understated blue hair.

"Cassius!" I exclaim, relived. A senior advisor to the president, he is a regular visitor for me and Katniss. He wouldn't mind my baker-in-his-natural-state look.

"What can I do for you? Would you like some cookies? Fresh out of the oven!"

"Yes, thank you" he smiled pleasantly.

"Is the wife home?"

I blush. "She's...not my wife, Cassius."

He winked. "But she will be" he said confidently. I wish I had his optimism.

He takes a cookie and munches. They are Katniss's favorite, the fancy new years one she couldn't afford as a kid. I made them for her when she returns from Annie's and I silently hope he leaves some for her.

"As you know" he beings, wiping his mouth lightly "we are reaching the year anniversary of the president's assertion."

"Yes, sir"

"Well, we were thinking that, for the anniversary party, you and Katniss could...liven things up by appearing on the broadcast of the event, you know, tell people how happy our heroes are together, how the Capitol is rebuilding, how your loved ones are doing better after the rebuilding."

I blanch. This sounded so sickeningly like being on Ceaser's as a tribute, going on the victor's tour, being hijacked and forced to spew capitol drivel…

It felt like being used.

But I could only say

"Katniss and I don't exactly have many loved ones left."

Just then, the door flew open and I head the familiar BANG of Katniss's boots and I sigh in relief.

Saved by the Katniss.

She ran into the room with a determined look and, looking at em deliberately, she says "Peeta?"

I say nothing, looking at her, nonplussed.

"Yes."

a/n: Thank you for reading and thank you for the reviews/follows/favs!


	3. You're On Air!

Chapter 3: PEETA

The first thing my wife-to-be says to me after accepting my proposal?

"Oh, cookies!"

She begins to stuff her (very beautiful) face and sees Cassius.

"Oh, hi, Cassius" she says through a full mouthful of cookie.

I roll my eyes. "Katniss, those are for new year's!"

She gulps them down and gives me a glare, but there's no power in it and she is smirking.

"You let Cassius eat them. Besides, don't even try to tell me you won't make enough to feed the entirety of 12 by new year's."

"Am I missing something" Cassius says "Or did you just say 'yes' to Peeta's proposal?"

She blushes, apparently just now realizing her acceptance had an audience.

"Oh...yes" she says, munching a cookie mildly. "I suppose I did"

Cassius' eyes lit up "What a story! Two young lovers, forced to feign a romance under President Snow, find true love in Paynor's reign! What a story of renewal and freedom!"

He smiles at Katniss "I believe the mockingjay dress would be lovely for your televised wedding."

Katniss turns white "televised? No, no, no..."

She puts down the cookie and pokes him in the chest. "No, no, no" she says again. "I'm not going down that road again. Paynor may be better than Snow, or Coin. But I am NOT a trained dog."

"Nobody is suggesting you are" Cassius says mildly.

"Katniss is right" I venture and she gives me this adoring look that says "I'd give you the moon" or possibly "I'll have sex with you right now" Either would be okay with me.

"Thank you, Cassius" I continue "I'm sure Paynor means well, but we'd really prefer a...private ceremony. Right?"

Katniss nods vigorously and glares at Cassius, daring him to argue.

"I understand" Cassius says delicately. "But you must understand that Paynor needs...an image. And who would be better to provide that image than the mockingjay, and her starcrossed lover found, getting married?"

"You'll find another image, another mockingjay" katniss sneers.

"He can't make us"

"I'm afraid" he says stiffly "he can. Miss Everdeen—or should I say Mrs. Mellark-can you tell me in who's name this apartment is in?"

Her eyes go wide.

She runs to the desk pushed by the front door and rummages through the papers.

She picks one up and I recognize it as the deed to our place

Cassius smirks. "And it says…?"

"Paynor" she growls "Paynor owns our apartment"

"And can take it away" Cassius said satisfied, wiping his mouth and standing up "If you don't, ah-cooperate. Good day, Mr. and Mrs. Mellark"

Katniss is still growling the next day when we were about to be on the air. I'm uncomfortable in the white suit I wore when I was hijacked. She is beautiful in the mockingjay dress that was Cinna's final gift to her.

Soon we hear the new anthem—a longer version if Rue's song-and we are up.

Katniss is sullen through the interview, leaving me to answer most of the questions.

"Peeta, katniss" Paynor says eagerly "You are survivors of the outlying district twelve, now being rebuilt under my presidency. How is the rebuilding process going?"

"Very well" I say, and Katniss shoots me an evil look. "Well..." I amend, more truthfully "It's going as well as can be expected. You have to understand, most of twelve was wiped out. There's not much left to rebuild for,and not much incentive here to do so."

Paynor gives me a sour look. I can feel our apartment oozing out of our hands.

Katniss shrugs.

"I dunno. Haymitch can drink there. Gale can hunt there. My sister has a good stele. That's as rebuilt as I need it." she says.

Paynor smiles and I have some hope. "Now, Cassius tells me you two have some exciting news."

I smile back in pleasure. "Yes, we do. Yesterday, we were engaged."

The crowd goes nuts and Katniss smiles for the first time.

When the crowd settlea down, Paynor grins and says "And Katniss, Peeta, unlike when Snow forced you into a relationship, this engagement is real?"

Katniss smiles for real now.

"yes" she says "Real


	4. An Announcement Is Made

Chapter 4: KATNISS

Being at this party makes me feel like I'm on display.

Well, I think grimly, nothing new there.

Peeta, however, is loving it. Not because of the spotlight, but because he is making friends.

What was with that boy and making friends? I barely managed a relationship with my family, Gale, and him.

He could befriend the entirety of Panem and not be satisfied.

But that was just something I loved about him; his almost inexhaustible goodness, his refusal to be broken, to be owned, to be changed.

I was broken from my reverie by a young woman who came up to congratulate me on my engagement.

I tried to be like Peeta but it was difficult.

"Of course we were all devastated when the quarter quell canceled your original engagement" she crowed. Seriously, crowed.

"Yes, uh, me too" I said, finding, in retrospect, it was true.

"And what shall you be wearing?"

"Apparently the dress I was wearing during the interview" I mutter darkly because it had already been decided.

"Oh how lovely!" she cries, as if I said her family was getting free food for life.

I catch Peeta's eyes from across the room and he smiles, the bastard. And mimics the woman's crowing mannerisms.

I love this bastard.

He smirks and nods, suddenly, to a door. I look at him and mouth "what?"

he rolls his eyes and nods more vigorously to the door.

A closed door. Leading to a private…

...oh.

My cheeks flush and I excuse myself hurriedly, striding to him. He takes my arm and steers me to the room.

Once in I am pushed gently on the door and I laugh into his passionate kiss.

"Thought-you-needed-a rescue" he says through his kisses.

"Thanks" I breath.

I feel something hard at my thigh and I have a feeling it wasn't his father's pocketwatch he always wore.

I smirk. "Let me fix that"

he groans, I unzup his pants, and things go a,little hazy

….

When we come out of the side room, flushed, hair tangled, and clothes mussed, Paynor is on the podium making a tiresome speech.

I barely listen until he says

"the Hunger games"

I perk up.

'What?" I ask, almost too loudly. Everyone turns to me.

Paynor coughs. "I was saying, miss Everdeen...or rather, Mrs. Mellark, that the new bill will be open for vote tomorrow as part of our celebration."

"What bill?" I ask wearily.

"Why...the bill to reinstate the Games, of course."

a/n: Thank you for reading and reviewing!


	5. Interlude: Prim

Interlude: PRIMROSE

I am formless but I remember my name.

Primrose. Primrose Everdeen.

Prim, to my sister.

My sister.

I can see slightly through the void, my grace, and a slight, graceful girl kneeling by it.

Katniss.

She looks older than I remember her, years, decades older.

Though I somehow realize it's only been a year. She is eighteen.

And I realize I am fourteen today, or should have been.

"Hi, little duck" she rasps, and tears form in her face.

I had rarely seen my sister cry. I remeber she did in the games, when that other girl Rue died, when Peeta hit that force field and his heart stopped…

….Peeta.

I barely know the boy; I died before he and my sister became a couple, a real couple and she could properly introduce us.

But I see him now, kneeling down with Katniss. She has returned to my grave with him, and his vast arms engulf her in a comforting hug.

He puts his hand on my grave and says he's sorry, that he wished he knew me better, that he wished he had a sibling who loved him as much as I had loved Katniss.

I had never thought of it that way. Loving eachother, Katniss and I, was just natural. We only had eachother, really, for along time after dad died, when Mom was unreachable, before Gale, before Peeta's gift of bread that saved us.

Their love, Peeta and my sister, seems so natural too. He leans into her and she leans back and I had never seen her so comfortable touching another human being, even Gale, whom I know she loves with all her heart.

"Never again" I hear Katniss say, "I'll never let it happen again. Never."

I wonder what she means, but then I realize: the Games.

Had I a heartbeat, it would be beating quick now. The games. The games that took my sister and so many...the rebels had talked about reinstating them.

Had they decided to do so?

Peeta kisses her on her head. "Never" he agrees "As long as we're here, no kids like Prim, like Rue...none of them are going to be killed senselessly."

I'm touched by his thinking of me and the other girl, family and friends to Katniss, not him.

Then I remember the witch, his brothers that didn't volunteer for him, and realize he doesn't have loved ones to worry about.

Except Katniss.

And the fierceness in his eyes tell me he would fight to the death for her, and for others' loved ones.

And I realize in that moment why Katniss is in love with this boy.

Finally he takes a deep breath and smiles.

"By the way, Prim" he says "I found a kitten abandoned in the alley. After much cajoling your sister has allowed me to keep him."

Katniss smiles and takes his hand.

She looks straight at my stele and says

"We named him Buttercup."

a/n: This was an idea I had for a one shot, but I thought I'd be more appropriate here. Thank you for reading/reviewing, ect.!


	6. Interlude: Haymitch

Interlude: HAYMITCH

He hadn't considered this development.

He hadn't considered it at all.

When Peeta and Katniss visit after the party, he immediately knows something is wrong.

They are tense, and hunched, and...and afraid.

He sees them outside the window. Peeta whispers something to Katniss, she nods. He cups her chin and kisses her and she melts into it. She gives a desperate, pained smile and Peeta disentangle himself and goes.

In the direction of the graveyard, he notices, where most of 12 were interned.

Visiting his mother, who beat him, his father who was too weak to stop it, and his borthers who wouldn't volunteer for him.

The goodness of this boy manages to surprise him again, by the inexhaustible quality of it.

He had once told Katniss she could live a hundred lifetimes and not be worthy of the boy, but he thinks she's getting close because she looks at him adoringly, pleadingly, pityingly as if she finally understands he's suffered and lost just as much as she had.

She comes to his door, and by way of greeting, takes his whiskey and says.

"This is how this is going to work. I drink, you listen."

He consents and sits down.

"We have a problem" she says.

She tells him about the vote, the party, the imminent bloodshed.

When she is through, he rubs his chin.

"I don't see the issue, sweetheart" he says "We both voted for a return of the games."

"With Capitol LEADER'S children" she spat "not normal children, not the children of normal capitol people, it's no their fault."

"You don't want to punish them for acting like your fighting for your life was sport?" he asks.

"I want to punish the people who make the games happen!"

"Newsflash, sweetheart" He says "But those normal people? Have as much to do with perpetuating the games as Snow, or Ceasar, or Crane, or anybody else."

She huffs impatiently. "I should have known you wouldn't understand" she grouses "Peeta, he understood. He voted against this. I wish I had had his goodness when we voted."

She got up and gives him one last pleading look to understand but maybe something is broken in him because he does not.

"Thanks for the drink, Haymitch. Goodbye" she says frostily and leaves.

He sees her go after Peeta from the window, Peeta who alone of the three of them knew what horrible things revenge could wrought.

Except Katniss was beginning to understand in her own way.

Maybe, Haymitch thinks, taking a sip of whiskey, Maybe she doesn't need any more lifetimes to be worthy of Peeta's love.

A/n: I loved Haymitch's lone that Katniss isn't worthy of Peeta, not because she ISN'T worthy, she is, but because it shows her to be a flawed character. She is capable of unkindness, of vengefulness, of pettiness just like any person pushed too far and too cruelly. It is one reason she's such a great character. Thank you for reading and reviewing!


	7. Interlude: Finnick

FINNICK

Annie comes to visit him at least once a day.

He is buried by the sea, on the beach in Four, a rough rock with a trident sketched on the face. It's covered by brine and seaweed and eroded by waves.

He loves it.

Well.

He'd love it better if he weren't dead.

But this was what he wanted, right? Death, so that the Capitol could give him no more pain.

Except there was no Capitol anymore, and he could still feel pain.

The only consolation is Annie's visits. He got to watch in joy as her stomach swelled, and when Annie came one day, crying happy tears, carrying a small pink bundle. his heart leaped.

Well, whatever passed as your heart when you're dead.

Katniss visited as much as she could. It was far away, though, from her and Peeta's apartment in what used to be the Capitol, so she didn't come often.

It therefore surprises him to see a familiar lithe figure with a braid tumbling down her shoulders, walking steadily down the beach to his grave.

"Hi, Finnick" she says, sitting down. Sighing.

"I don't…" her voice catches. "I don't know what to do…"

"They're bringing back the games, Finnick"

Finnick feels like his breath is knocked from him. How could they? After all they sacrificed…when would it be enough?

"I wish you were here…" Katniss mutterers "You'd know how to stop this. You always knew a way out. I…" her voice is straining too thin "I voted, when the war was over, we'd have a games but with capitol leaders' children. I thought it was only fair, especially after Prim…" she swallows "But I never wanted this for the regular capitol citizens, believe me, Finnick, I didn't."

He knows.

She's crying now, and he wants to tell her it's alright. But of course, that's not so, and Katniss never did like lies.

She brushes her tears with her sleeve and gives a watery smile.

"At the very least, I'll protect your son. That's the least I can do. I hope you know that."

He knows.

She pats his grave affectionately "We miss you, Finnick."

He misses them too.

"I know you would have voted against this" she says bitterly "I know you would have been able to do…something! Haymitch doesn't understand. Annie…well she's got the baby to think about. Johanna, well, she'd enjoy any excuse for revenge. Peeta knows this is wrong but he's never been the outspoken one in this equation"

Sighing she strokes the grave, her fingers tracing the trident.

Finnick wondered if she was overestimating him. Yes, he would vote against this if he could, but fix it?

He didn't know how.

But he had a feeling someone could. Peeta. He had voted against this insanity.

He remembers his first speech at the victory tour, speaking of the courage and goodness of Thresh and Rue and their dedication of their winings to their family.

And maybe, he thinks, Peeta is more outspoken than he seems.

"Y'know, Finnick" she says finally, throwing up her hands. "I'm not getting to the real point of all this"

He wonders what the point is, what the point of any of it is.

She takes a deep, steadying breath and he can see the scared teenaged girl just under the skin, hidden away from the world.

"I have to talk to Paynor"


End file.
